Free to Be Me


free to be me

 

Free to Be Me 

I wish for you the perfect gift

under the perfect tree

not locked in a box, ribboned or tucked in a sock

but open for all to see

as visible as the brightest star,

this gift, hopefully received most festively,

would simply, and mindfully be

“a present me”

in this season of your making

I wish for you garlands of friendships in waiting,

a thousand lights of joy, harmony, and fullness for the taking.

I wish for you a time of believing

in a Pandora of possibilities set free

a time to walk through the door

that has truly opened in your mind

and imagine you are as unique

as an individual snowflake caught in a flicker of candlelight

destined to brilliantly adorn the wonderful tree of life

where your light shines        and others see it

where your life matters        and others feel it

the gift I have faith you will accept most festively,

would be the peace of mind

that comes from believing in yourself

and finding the way, to finally say

“I’m free to be me”

In the title poem I offer this book as a gift to bring the reader the peace of mind that comes from believing in yourself, and finding the way, to finally say “I’m free to be me”.Free To Be Me is a tribute to all the Seekers that have nurtured my belief that we are all one. Each poem meditates on an aspect of being human and wanting non-other than to share in the possibility, that we can look upon the face of God, and see our reflection.
In this collection of poetry, which I have written over the years, I only have the words to repeat what the universe has whispered in my ear, spoken with a virtuous breath not my own, for I borrow all that I am from all that has been and is.

Reflections on a Christmas Eve

Feliz Navidad y un Feliz Año Nuevo

mi casa es tu casa

mi casa es tu casa

Reflections on a Christmas Eve

Some nights are like this, a glass of burgundy,

candles permeating the air with lavender, a subtle

nostalgia for having passed this way.

I look out into the darkness, and it makes itself at home.

The window on this world I am reflecting on

is made of lace, from which I do not hide behind,

for I view this space, with gratitude and grace.

Every living cell within me carries

the physical recollection of Christmas Eve,

for here is a moment in time I have lived,

loved, and left behind a number of times.

This space of transitory occupancy,

complete with worn-out habits,

is the comfort of the threadbare winter coat

I don’t want to let go of.

Light enters here and here butterflies are born.

A child finds his way home. Words flow freely, easily,

although, as wit would have it with a price to pay,

this Eve is but a stop along the way,

for yet another window waits upon another day.

FELIZ NAVIDAD 2015

Guardian Angel

 

 

In this season of joy

may the angels be with you

may the light of love

be always a radiant

reflection of your smile

your shadow forever behind you

leaving a path

your lover will always follow

may the angels be with you

and where you walk

lay down a soft carpet

woven from the wonder

of memories of this season you share

where you dance to the music of your heart

a floor of old and well-worn wood

polished to perfection from the footsteps

you have laid down together

may the angels be with you

may they keep you from sadness

may they temper

the moments you are apart

in this season of darkness and light

wherever you rest your head

a silk-clad down of possibilities

you have yet to dream about

Pic from google image – pinterest

Valentine Day 2015

 Remember when

 

On this Valentine Day three poems from my book “Ageing Beautifully in Light of You” for Candy:

Classy / Adorable / Naughty / Devine / Yes!

 When Dawn Breaks Across the Stillness of the Night

 

 when dawn breaks across

the stillness of the night

and daylight filters through dreams

of all we have pleasured and pained

 

we are there for each other

 

unboundedly wrapped in arms and legs,

anchored to the soft and wonderful,

a wedded link to the possibility

of all that is beautiful in a relationship

where someone listens, someone cares.

 

mornings are made for us

our days open in a dance

of warmth and loving,

one with the passage of light

no shadows in and out

of our hours together and apart.

 

the grumps, frumps and frailties of aging,

churning out the chapters of lives lived,

melt beneath the covers             drift away

with each passing moment

of each and every day

 

we have the pleasure of our company

 

 

and the comfort of knowing

in our heart and soul

we are fearlessly where we want to be.

yesterdays sauntered aimlessly

and lulled about heaven

casting no shadow

leaving seldom behind

now it’s all in a day’s grace

this loving space we are in,

walking giftedly beside each other

no less favored then before

but lighter footsteps and fewer doors

with a companion to love, trust and adore

 

as we journey now,

on the evening of our lives

toward a sunset of the visible light

more spring than fall

more time trailing behind us

than to be laid down

 

the life we share is not the beginning

for we have always known each other

 

nor will it be the end

for we will always be together

time and time again

 

red rose

 

My Hands Are Making Love To You

 

My hands are making love to you all the time

they’ve discovered a world of their own

humbly satisfying my senses fully

they don’t just hold hands with you

they caress, fondle, grip, squeeze and tease

dance on the tips of your fingers

touching , exploring, reveling

entwined in you

It is the laying on of hands

my hands holding on

to what the heart knows to be true

My hands make love to you walking down the street

alone with you in a crowd

they unembarrassingly make love in public

exploring privately only what my soul can know

before you entered the rest of my life

my hands began to turn downward

they were being pulled earthward

growing heavy, arthritic  and tempered

they are free now to conduct your music

sculpt the soft sensual clay of you

trace your lips into a smile

and draw you close to me

write a poem or two

to say I love you

 red rose

Count Me In

 

The heart and soul of a couple are not immune to despair,

for the wear and tear of the ego will always be there.

The mind is ever capable of wandering

down dark alleys and wallowing

in the wasteland of what’s it all about.

So, if one day, doubt enters on a word

trailing with it sleepless nights all too surreal,

nothing as always is ever the same

and you need a friend to say I love you

count me in

If codependency means someone to lean on

in times of anxiety and pain,

if it’s pickup when you’re down,

a smile upon a frown,

or simply someone to be there

just to know you are around

count me in

If you need someone to talk to,

someone to listen and hear you

cry it out, SHOUT IT OUT,

or just to be there

which is really what it’s all about

count me in

 It goes without saying that it works both ways.

If you wake in the morning wanting

to be there, thankful for being alive,

in stride with the love of your life,

that’s not dependency, it’s just

I’m your husband and you’re my wife.

There’s nothing wrong with sharing

both the highs and the lows of every day’s caring,

believing that you can, without a doubt,

depend on one another to say

count me in

The Ways You Walk Beside Me

couple vettriano-butler

couple vettriano-butler

A Valentine re-post for mi esposa – of one of personal favorites

 These are the ways we walk together.

Forgotten fears, footsteps behind us

dissipating in the laughter

of our growing old together,

capable of having too much fun

 

as my friend

 

in the garden we long since planted

with the soil of our spirit and desire,

you enrich my union with the earth,

your water nourishes

the very root of my being me.

you look upon me without judgment

and when momentarily I lose sight of who I am,

I turn to my friend

and your light is always in the window,

the way to your heart always open

 –

 

it is you I come to

when I want to be alone

and need to be held

 

 as partners

 

Palm-to-palm fingers entwined

in wonder of the world around us,

venturing in unknown surprise

in a no fault relationship

trusting we are there for each other.

we talk to one another

and I am in awe of your wisdom.

we share our space,

I am saturated with your nearness.

 –

side by side in cadence,

indivisible in the light

leaving one set of footprints

in the silt and sands of our memories.

I will be forever courting you in delight

 

your lover

 

unblushingly undressed

before the mistress of my passions,

you lovingly invite my touch,

my humbled hands

conduct a symphony of joy.

you welcome the heat of my desire,

my body enters sacred ground

finds fulfillment in your fantasies.

my love lies down to sleep

beside me

 

the companion

 

of my dreams,

your soft hands

laying beside my head

holding the night together.

I close my eyes knowing

when I wake

you will be there beside me

waiting as the dawn waits for daylight.

you say my name, goodmorning

and I am at peace with myself

  

as my spouse

 

there is no bond between us.

no neediness or wantfullness,

only loving the warm comfort

in a winter’s darkness of our flesh

folding over one another.

a husband

needing to come home to only you

to catch the moonlight

as it lays shadows across your body,

wanting always to breathe you in

Free to be Me

Our phone and Internet have been down for some time now and just returned on Christmas Eve, so thankfully I can post a poem for the season.  It’s a repeat, but one of my favorites; written as a Christmas card fundraiser for a Consumer Peer Support Group for people with Borderline Personality Disorder.  For someone who has lost belief in themselves, it is my Christmas gift to you.

Google Image  Jean-Michel Basquiat

Google Image
Jean-Michel Basquiat

I wish for you the perfect gift

under the perfect tree

not locked in a box, ribboned or tucked in a sock

but open for all to see

as visible as the brightest star, this gift,

hopefully received most festively,

would simply, and mindfully be

“a present me”

in this season of your making

I wish for you garlands of friendships in waiting,

a thousand lights of joy,

harmony, and fullness for the taking.

I wish for you a time of believing

in a Pandora of possibilities set free.

a time to walk through the door

that has truly opened in your mind

and imagine you are as unique

as an individual snowflake

caught in a flicker of candlelight

destined to brilliantly adorn

the wonderful tree of life

where your light shines        and others see it

where your life matters        and others feel it

the gift I have faith you will accept most festively,

would be the peace of mind

that comes from believing in yourself

and finding the way, to finally say

“I’m free to be me”

Feliz Navidad & Feliz Año Nuevo Everyone

John & Candis

My Angels Are Beside Me – Audio

A re-post for Thanksgiving

 

This is a prayer to guide you, knowing the angels are beside you,

and you are worthy of all that the universe has to offer.

 

When the chaos of the moment

clutters and clouds your mind,

and the choices that confound you

are fogged by the choices left behind,

center and embrace the stillness

in order to find inside

what it is that you need to do,

and what you need to change about yourself.

Believe you can make a difference,

knowing you are not the savior of this world.

Be aware that if you delay any longer

in making positive moves,

you will deplete your energy.

You will no longer be able to walk through the door

your angels hold open for you.

Knowing that what you resist will always persist,

do not avoid the issues that confront you,

for they will always be waiting in the shadows

you have yet to leave behind.

Of what you say and think, always take care,

for your words and thoughts have wings.

They can drag you into a place of despair,

or lift you up, to a better space than here.

You are up to this momentary struggle and strife,

this daunting challenge of your changing life.

You are whole,

you are focused,

you are here and happy

doing nothing more than

something that gives you joy,

and brings you peace of mind.

You deserve the best that life can offer,

and you must begin to do for you.

Visualize it. Taste it. Feel it.

And most of all believe

that what you are looking for

is waiting on the other side of the door,

and through it effortlessly, you will slide.

 

the-angel by Erte

the-angel by Erte

November Is Having A Hot Flash

Something to look forward to North of the Border

 

It’s days like this

you can almost imagine

the New England version

of Mother Nature having a heart

 

The sun, almost low enough

to look you straight in the eye

a straggling army of leaves

in khaki, holding on to what’s left

of the apple tree, for one last parade,

under a blue sky,

and tempered breeze,

a whisper of the memory of warmth.

 

November is having a hot flash.

 

A Not So Terrible Wind Approaches

This maybe a little premature, however given the weather report for América del norte possibly not.

 

Early Winter somewhere

Early Winter somewhere

dead leaves flounder

on dull mirrored pavement

scurrying around occasional headlights

branches of cultured trees

shake off the vestiges of fall

as winter commandeers

and kingly enters the scene

Darkness is never so dark

as viewed in backdrop

of a seasons yawned awakening

a season of sleep

and fitful dreams awakening

So it is and so it has been

in this nowhere land of origin

that nature dies upon the land

that before we, even learned

that death precludes creation

she lay down, shuddering,

slept, dreamed

and began again.

The only more serene

then festive lights aglow

on empty streets

is the green of memory

of what has been

never again to be seen

until a single bud

seemingly lost to expectation

enters on a future of possibility

humbly and almost forgotten

The skinny of it

leafless and moaning of lost words

scribbling a description of the beauty of birth

in the glory of dying

Nothing waits silently

at the entrance of winter

and wishes all a good night

empty streets

silent nights

headlights passing out of sight

dressing shadows

in festive light

a not so terrible wind approaches

for in the dawn of darkness

huddles the harbinger of light

First Snow – Trick or Treat

Then: Halloween 2011 MA

Then: Halloween 2011 MA

 

Now: Halloween 2014 Ajijic

Now: Halloween 2014 Ajijic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know there’s a logical

explanation:

a predictable mixture

of cloud, moisture and cold

when it steals over sleep

enters my morning world

with a gentle benediction

I know it’s foolish

but it smells

of children laughing

and I want my footsteps

to make a lasting impression

in the first snow

The Leaves are Beginning to Change

serenata - pristine cartera turkus

serenata – pristine cartera turkus

 

Tom Thomson Canadian Group of Seven

Tom Thomson Canadian Group of Seven

 

Previous and Present Autumns

sap gossips

beneath the bark

revealing small secrets

about the changing season

a faint blush on the leaves

                                    and clouds                                      

              step down

from a cool sky

to permeate the hollows of the ground

having memorized

the polar flight of monarchs

the sun leans towards the south

squirrels are plump

and cautiously waiting for a fall

that sleeps restless

under spent soil

and dreams of pulling on sweaters

trying on hats

and quilting the forests

with gloved fingers

the leaves are beginning to change

in a land of cold blue waters

and crisp pungent odors

a land of birch skin

and rose women

ripe with the rumor

of a new season